


Explanations, Imperfect

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Call Forwards, Canon Compliant, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, Mind Rape, Rise of Kylo Ren Comic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:48:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24011569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Ben writes an important letter to Poe.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Kudos: 1
Collections: Trope Bingo: Round Fourteen





	Explanations, Imperfect

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Poor Communication Skills
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Hyperspace took a while. Especially getting to Vanrak. Even as Ben sat in the cockpit with his datapad in hand, he couldn’t help but think that he needed to tell Poe where he was going, sooner or later. To think that he had been afraid, when he had gone off to the Academy, that he wouldn’t be able to protect Poe. Now he was on the run from Luke, from Voe, Tai and Hennix. It especially hurt to be on the run from Tai; long ago, they had been friends, when Tai had welcomed a scared six year old Ben to the Academy.   
  
_“I’m Tai. Tai Zordani. We’re gonna be Padawans together.”_  
  
And Ben was good as cut off from everyone. Tai, and Poe. Being alone in hyperspace was far from a comfortable feeling. Being surrounded by swirling blue, realizing that with one draw of your uncle’s lightsaber, everything was turned upside down.   
  
And maybe he could have tried to talk his uncle down or anything, but he had just been so scared...  
  
He had to explain things to Poe. Just enough.  
  
***  
  
 _Dear Poe..._  
  
Yeah. That was a good start. A good start as any.   
  
_I’ll be far away,_ yeah, that was a good way to put it. He couldn’t tell Poe precisely where he was going; how disappointed would Poe be if he knew that he was joining the Knights of Ren? _By the time you read this. It’s for the best. I’m going on a dangerous journey, and you can’t come with me. Not this time. The Academy’s burned down. I don’t know what happened. If it was a storm or anything..._  
  
He had to tell Poe at least portions of the truth. Portions. He wished that it wasn’t just portions. That he could tell Poe that he was going to Vanrak because Luke had tried to kill him. Because Voe, Tai and Hennix were completely clueless about what was going on. He lied a little. Maybe more than a little. But how was Poe supposed to take the fact that Luke had tried to kill Ben? Ben would be forcing him to choose between a family friend and his old childhood friend.  
  
 _You’re nothing to him, kid,_ Ren’s voice said in his mind. _But everything to me._  
  
Ben gritted his teeth, continued writing. He could feel the rage, the pain, building until it seemed unbearable.  
  
 _You couldn’t be that arrogant to think that Poe would come for you,_ Vader’s voice said in his mind.  
  
Ben was relieved when he sent the message. When he could throw the datapad to the ground. He didn’t care, really, if he broke it. It hurt, everything hurt. It felt like the pain in him was fire scorching his skin.   
  
_Just hold onto it, kid,_ Ren’s voice said. _Pain gives us strength. From there...you’ll become better. Stronger than you ever were._  
  
Ben could hope. Strong enough to turn over the fabric of life and death itself. At least he could keep Poe safe...even if they were hyperspace routes away.


End file.
